A Nod on Hold

That first instinct and impression is generally correct. For many of us, we can apply the classic Economics "80/20" rule: we know 80% of what's going to happen in a relationship within 20% of the time that the relationship lasts.

We have all been there: those 2 month relationships can be predicted to end within the first two weeks - you just aren't compatible, or you have different desires. The 2 year relationship can be defined within the first 5 months, and generally the last 19 months or so are just going through the motions until you end it. After month 4 you have both become complacent and comfortable, have both discerned that you want to be with the other person for a long amount of time, that regardless of the issue, you will work together to resolve it at any cost or sacrifice of quality of life/health until finally the grind becomes too much to bear and you are both fed up. That complacency will last 18 months, then you just stick out the ride until shit hits the fan.

Many of us have been there, but we never really heed the call - myself included. To define it, the kicker comes when only 20% of us actually listen or tap into that 80%. The result - misconceptions and miscommunication - probably the driver of 80% of relationship issues. Cynical indeed - if you do the math, were looking at 64% of failing situations :

Initially, 20% of the people wouldn't have the foresight. Of the 80% that do have that foresight, only 20% heed it, or 80% don't listen to it -->64% of people will thus fail in the second stage, leading to a ruined relationship. Now, that first 20% who can't predict the outcome of a relationship may not be in a bad situation - we will be optimists and give them the benefit of the doubt that these are the lucky ones - they all end in perfect relationships. 64% eh? Close to the National Divorce rate of about 50%...

Moral of the story - when you identify something, hold on to it and listen to it - you are probably right.