A Nod on Hold

That first instinct and impression is generally correct. For many of us, we can apply the classic Economics "80/20" rule: we know 80% of what's going to happen in a relationship within 20% of the time that the relationship lasts.

We have all been there: those 2 month relationships can be predicted to end within the first two weeks - you just aren't compatible, or you have different desires. The 2 year relationship can be defined within the first 5 months, and generally the last 19 months or so are just going through the motions until you end it. After month 4 you have both become complacent and comfortable, have both discerned that you want to be with the other person for a long amount of time, that regardless of the issue, you will work together to resolve it at any cost or sacrifice of quality of life/health until finally the grind becomes too much to bear and you are both fed up. That complacency will last 18 months, then you just stick out the ride until shit hits the fan.

Many of us have been there, but we never really heed the call - myself included. To define it, the kicker comes when only 20% of us actually listen or tap into that 80%. The result - misconceptions and miscommunication - probably the driver of 80% of relationship issues. Cynical indeed - if you do the math, were looking at 64% of failing situations :

Initially, 20% of the people wouldn't have the foresight. Of the 80% that do have that foresight, only 20% heed it, or 80% don't listen to it -->64% of people will thus fail in the second stage, leading to a ruined relationship. Now, that first 20% who can't predict the outcome of a relationship may not be in a bad situation - we will be optimists and give them the benefit of the doubt that these are the lucky ones - they all end in perfect relationships. 64% eh? Close to the National Divorce rate of about 50%...

Moral of the story - when you identify something, hold on to it and listen to it - you are probably right.

I still remember

A sense of wonder.

Not excitement or awe, just wonder, at how a person can think so clearly and yet too much, to the point that, regardless of the transparency of the thoughts, the volume is too numerous to provide insight and yield closure.

I often find myself in this position. Put plainly: I think too much ( I suppose that blogging is indicative of that). Furthermore, I have been finding it difficult to remember what other people mention to me, but I can remember all of my own thoughts exceptionally well. While some may consider this advantageous, I find it to be very troublesome: The items that I want to remember - contributions from others - tend to pass through my mind, and the issues that I want to forget reside solely in my head.

Perhaps this is an opportunity to learn and grow - an identified issue that I can address consciously and actively change. Perhaps the identification of the issue is just that - an acknowledgement of a problem to live with. Or it's one of those things that you can't change - a characteristic of myself and those around me need to understand it, as do I.

Regardless, I still remember that I need to cope with it in some way. This will be hard.

Keep the Car Running

Facing fear and fleeing it at the same time. There is no excitement like that of confrontation - the ensuing jubilation of success and the traumatizing terror of failure - where a divide will always be created and a victor will always rise. Similarly, there is little more comfortable than that of complacency and familiarity - fleeing to remove fear and replace it with the static lifestyle.

But what happens when you combine the two? When you run from fear to result in a confrontation. When does confrontation become familiar and you become complacent with confrontations?

It's coming, but when?

Keep the car running.

With a change in the weather and the wind comes a muted change in perspective and personality. If only we were all so volatile - combinations would ensue and mixing would never cease, fueling a flame that could never die, only vacillate depending on proximity and compatibility.

Return

Back to a world of change and uncertainty - a world difficult to understand and thrive in but one necessary to learn in.

Careful Elation - is there such a thing?

A brief relief - A stint of relaxation and removal of unnecessary and transparent weight collides and collapses against my body like a wave breaking over an archipelago of rocks, washing away the loose strings while glittering from a striking sun as if to smile and say "Thank you".